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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member The-Cynical-OptimistAntarctica Group :iconx-wolf-paws-x: x-Wolf-Paws-x
The incredible, marvelous, WOLF
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Deviant for 2 Years
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Some of the best art on DA that doesn't get much attention. I'm a sucker for fur detail and drawings that look like photographs :3 (and miniature food, and macarons)

Macaron stamp by Mel-RoseyFur stamp by Daakukitsune


Angel of Darkness by Sorasongz

Hello there! Alright, first off, I would like to note that I am not the best artist, but I will try to critique based upon what I have...

The Night Wolf...Art Work by arihoff
by arihoff

Alright, so let's get started here... First focus is the wolf. Your fur technique is amazing, just one thing, I don't know if I'm not ...


well you all are gonna be enjoying your spoopy halloween night
good for you
i have two options for spoopy halloween night
 - don't go trick-or-treating and cry about nanowrimo
 - or go trick-or-treating, stress out the entire time about nanowrimo, and then get comments about being "antisocial"

it's soon
i'm not ready for nanowrimo :/ 
At some point today, I realized that...well, to put it simply, I'd rather be dead.

I don't know if you could define it as suicide. Because I don't think I'd want to kill myself, but, it's kind of one of those things where I wouldn't really be so upset about dying. I can't really define how I feel, except for that I'm really angry at myself.

I'm upset that my brain would think of those kinds of things, of me dying and wanting to die. Those of you who have known me for a while know that I struggled with something I never had officially diagnosed but supposed was depression, or something of that sort. I'm too scared to tell anyone I know in real life because I know they're going to be upset- either because I didn't tell them, or because I'm not the person they think I am. 

This year, I decided that I would try to do good things for other people. But that kind of backfired, and now I'm stuck doing things that I don't want to do, things that make me feel terrible about myself and make me upset. Yet half of me tells myself that this is part of being nice to others, and I should just tough it out and wait until it's over.

But it's really difficult. It hurts to know that you thought you overcame something when in fact you didn't. After I found my happiness, I was ready to take on the world, sure that the sadness wouldn't return again. And it lasted for about a year. 

I'm not really sure why this is happening again. For the past few months, it's like my moods have been fluctuating a lot. Some days, I'm okay. On those days, I feel like I've overcome the sadness and the loneliness for once and for all. 
But after some time- a day, a week, two weeks- it returns again and suddenly I feel terrible. As for those days, as time went on, I've been feeling progressively worse about myself. It started from just being a little sad to what happened today. These days, and the happy days come without warning. I've looked back on it and there's nothing that would prompt my feelings to change so suddenly like that. 

So...I don't know. And I'm so scared. I don't want to hurt anyone and that's why I can't post this anywhere else. Even though I feel like I should be able to control my emotions, for some reason, I can't, and that's why I'm terrified. 

All I can do is hopefully sort through this myself. I hope this isn't something that'll keep occurring. I got through it once and I think I can do so again, though it's more difficult this time around because I can never predict how I'm going to feel that day. There is no good reason for me to die or want to die, but there are many reasons for me to live. So I need to keep struggling to keep that dark rain cloud away from my head and find the sunlight.

Please don't be worried! I will figure this out and everything will be alright in time. And I'm thankful for all the friends I've made online. You guys are all so nice, and I think this will be better. This time, I have friends who are there for me :3 

I'm just so very tired of fighting...
  • Mood: Tired
things that i am not ready for

the last episode of free!
the last episode of free!

of free!

aka the first anime i ever watched and the one with the best fandom 
really omg i'm very sad that it's over 
the first anime is always the one that impacts you the most isn't it
sorry kiddos for the rest of the week and maybe next week too i'll just be floating around in a zombie haze don't mind me
  • Mood: Sorrow
  • Eating: My tears


The-Cynical-Optimist has started a donation pool!
459 / 610
Any donation= llama, feature, and watch.

.::Commission Prices::.

All are fully shaded and come with a background unless otherwise requested.
Please tell me if you would like it traditional/digital, cell/soft shading, and what pose and background you want ^^ Also note any special requests such as if you only want it in pencil, as a lineart, etc.

Head/ bust- 80 points :: $1.00
For each additional character, add 40 points :: $0.50

Full body- 120 points :: $1.50
For each additional character, add 80 points :: $1.00

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Journal History



Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Salut tout le monde!

Thanks for dropping by my page c: I'm a 15-year-old from sunny southern California, and I like cake, drawing ( of course! ) anime, natural sceneries, cute animals, car-racing games, alternative rock, and money.
Just like any teen, I guess :3

You'll see mostly wolves in my gallery because that's what I get commissioned for, but I grew up drawing dinosaurs and dragons, so those might appear every now and then in my artwork.

My parents hate the idea of me drawing, so technically I'm not allowed to draw ^^' and I've never taken art lessons, which I wish I could have...though, it's good to make the best of what I'm given.

Well, that's about it! (And no, I don't really live in Antarctica, obviously)

Feel free to check out the other places you'll find me :D
tumblr ::
Chicken Smoothie ::…
Former deviantArt account :: My-Soulless-Reverie

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Add a Comment:
MizzleTurtle Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
 I lost the game!i troll back on your page cause you made me lose the game D<
The-Cynical-Optimist Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
MizzleTurtle Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
aww it is okay I forgive you :tighthug:
The-Cynical-Optimist Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
gets home
loses the game
goodbye world
(1 Reply)
TiedWithABow Featured By Owner Edited Aug 31, 2014
 -totally forgot i've already commented here-
MsBikasa Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
Hey! :meow: did you get my message? :(
The-Cynical-Optimist Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yup~ Sorry, I was busy yesterday and didn't get the chance to reply. We had to register for school, then I went to test classes, and then I went to a bonfire...
TiedWithABow Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
ok. i give. you need to give me tips on drawing fur and shading it, your so good at it o.o
The-Cynical-Optimist Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
don't use my old fur tutorial it's so outdated
i'm going to make a new one k
but this one is real good and i used it for developing my fur style
and it's actually so much easier than it looks…
TiedWithABow Featured By Owner Edited Aug 18, 2014
i'll try it out ^.^ but it'll be a little hard since i use gimp and it doesn't have a fading brush
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